Healing Emotional Eating: A Journey of Compassion and Understanding

by Amy J Gartner, LCSW

Have you ever wondered why you eat when you are not hungry? Do you feel powerless around food? Does eating feel stressful and overwhelming? Are you starting a new diet this new year? Have you lost weight in the past only to regain it quickly? Do you ask yourself, “What is wrong with me?” I would like you to consider asking yourself, “What am I needing right now?”

From a therapeutic perspective, emotional overeating is not a failure of self-control. It is a coping strategy shaped by stress, emotional pain, restriction, and the nervous system’s need for regulation. Emotional overeating refers to eating in response to emotions rather than physical hunger. I look at emotional overeating through a trauma-informed and nervous system lens. When the body perceives emotional distress, it seeks relief. When you understand it this way, emotional overeating is not the problem; instead, it is a signal that something else inside is asking for care.

From a nervous system perspective, emotional eating is simply an attempt to regulate our emotions. Foods high in sugar, fat, or salt can momentarily calm the body and provide relief. In moments where emotions feel unmanageable, food becomes a coping mechanism to soothe a dysregulated nervous system.

Here are a few common reasons that we might turn to food:

  • To avoid thoughts, feelings, or situations that make us uncomfortable

  • To self-soothe at the end of a long day

  • To avoid starting a task or a project

  • To manage a transition time during our day

  • Following a restrictive diet or meal plan

Many clients who struggle with emotional overeating have histories that include:

  • Chronic stress or burnout

  • Loss or unresolved grief

  • Trauma or attachment wounds

  • Emotional neglect or inconsistent caregiving

  • Perfectionism and internalized shame

Shame is a powerful tool that feeds emotional eating rather than resolving it. After overeating, we might feel guilt, self-criticism, or a renewed attempt to “regain control” through a restrictive diet or food plan. This creates a cycle that increases the stress in our bodies, making future overeating episodes more likely. In therapy, we can learn how to interrupt this cycle by replacing judgment with curiosity and compassion.

A Therapeutic Path Toward Healing

Healing emotional eating does not include rigid food rules or eliminating comfort foods. Instead, therapy supports individuals in developing an attuned relationship with our bodies and our emotions.

In therapy, we will work to:

  • Identify emotional triggers and recognize unmet needs

  • Increase our tolerance for uncomfortable thoughts and emotions

  • Explore early experiences that shaped our beliefs around our body and food

  • Learn to be compassionately curious

  • Learn tools for emotional regulation

  • Develop self-compassion and body trust

If you are struggling with emotional overeating, it is important to know that nothing is “wrong” with you. Your body and mind have been doing their best to cope. Healing does not happen with control; it happens with understanding. With the right support, it is possible to develop a healthy relationship with food, your emotions, and yourself.

Matt Headland