What You Should Know About Self-Harm
It can be very frightening to find out that someone you care about is struggling with self-harm. Feelings of helplessness and fear may arise, especially if you are unsure what self-harm is, why it is happening, or how to help your loved one. Knowing the answers to these questions can help you understand your loved one and give them the support that they need.
What is self-harm?
Self-harm is a coping mechanism where people hurt themselves because they may be feeling difficult emotions such as pain or sadness. It is used as a way to process emotions or to try and feel something other than the difficult emotions they are faced with. There are several types of self-harm. The most common types are cutting, burning, picking at old wounds, hitting/punching oneself, and piercing the skin with sharp objects. People often harm themselves in areas that are easy to cover such as arms and legs.
Why does it happen?
There are several reasons why a person may be self-harming. They could be overwhelmed by the feelings that they are having, and they don’t have any other coping skills to use. Sometimes people have become numb to their feelings or experiences, and self-harm is a way to feel something again. Others may use it as punishment for themselves if they have negative beliefs about themselves or their feelings. When life feels unmanageable, self-harm may also provide the person a sense of control.
How can I help someone who is struggling with self-harm?
When you find out that someone you love is struggling with self-harm, the first thought that may come to mind is how can I help them? It is natural to want to help our loved ones when they are in pain. The first way that you can help is by being a safe person that they can talk to about their feelings. This will allow them to have a person to share feelings with and will help them feel less alone in their struggles. Another way is by asking them what they need from you during their times of distress. Sometimes simply having another person with them in person or over the phone is helpful, or they may need to go somewhere to distract their mind. Asking what they need allows you to meet them where they are and provides a sense of being seen and understood.
Self-harm can be scary - both for the person struggling with self-harm and for their loved ones. It can feel isolating and overwhelming. Know whether you are the person struggling with self-harm or are the loved one of someone struggling, neither of you has to go through this alone. If you are in need of support, please feel free to contact one of our therapists at NCTP. We would be honored to help you navigate this difficult time.
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